So in one of my earlier post, i had talked about realizations. I have come to a conclusion that we all have many realizations in our lives. They are not always right, but they are not always wrong. But I have noticed that even though we have realizations with false information in it, we tend to believe it and trust that it is true. All humans base most of their facts from trust. Let's say you meet a guy and he says his name is Bob. You trust that he is telling the truth and you believe him. For a bigger example, God. You can prove whether or not he is real. You just believe, you trust that he is real. That he created this universe. Every religion is based on trust. You trust to believe it's true.
So coming to my third conclusion, all of the people out there that says you have trust issues....you don't. People automatically believe someones name is Bob when they tell them. You trust yourself when you pick up a plate to carry it somewhere.
Your life is based off of trust and decisions. You decide everything in your life. And it is all based from what you believe. What you trust.

Assuming

There are not a lot of things that get me mad. But one that you will read about now is assuming. I hate that people assume things about you. It destroys things. Like thoughts, relationships, ideas. A lot of things. It just bugs me that people assume that I can be a douche and just do things with out felling bad. Like I am some kind of emotionless witch! It doesn't make sense to me. Maybe someone can explain it to me, because obviously I don't get it.

The Things That Get To You

You know how you are going through something in your life and there is always a song that relates to your situation. You tend to stick with that song the entire time you are going through this "situation". The reason why I am bringing this up because today I realized that I have been stuck on the same song for quite a while now. But now I have another song that totally throws off my entire concept of everything I had just told you! When you listen to a song, you usually pick up the emotion that it is giving out. Suppose it is a happy song, you will be happy. Sad song, you are sad. Get the concept? Not that hard to pick up. But what happens the day you listen to a happy song and you are sad? Not a crying sad but a depressed sad, like guilt. The meaning of the entire song is thrown out the window. What do you do then? Just sit there in a confused state-of-mind. Wondering about what had just happened.

Worst Realization of my Life

So ever since i worte my last blog, i just couldn't stop thinking about it. Well tonight as i was laying in my bed listening to "Angels on the Moon" by Thriving Ivory (good song by the way) Well i realized that I am a suicidal maniac. I realized that deep down I am terrified of my future. So scared i don't want to live it. I really don't want to live through the rest of my life. My life is truely great but....i think i have some kind of mental problem. I;m not sure. Deep down I want some reason to get off of this earth. Earlier when I called myself a "suiciddal maniac" I really didn;t mean that, cause I really don't want to kill myself. I just want a reason to leave like cancer or something. Maybe I could be saving someone's life. Just I am going to change that though cause i'm pretty sure that right now I sound crazy and I will not be surprised if people come to my house tomorrow and wrap me up into this white coat and strap my arms down. (Please don't though)

Shorter Days

Everyone lives on this earth to serve a purpose. That is what I believe. God has a plan for everyone. But i guess my question is...Have you ever felt like you knew what was going to happen? I can't really explain it except for my experience. And i will probably sound crazy but bare with me, please.
I feel like, like I don't have a long journey ahead of me. I mean this in the best way but i always have had this feeling that God's plan for my life will be exciting and know I am going to touch people in so many different ways but I just have this strong feeling that it is all going to happen soon and then I am going to be done. I will have no more purpose on this earth and well you know.....
I am okay with leaving early in my life but I just want to know, you know? I can never say I believe this deep strong feeling because I am so scared that i am battling with myself, with my mind. I am scared that I might have manipulated my mind to believe something that maybe deep down I wish is true. I am not trying to say that I am a depressed suicidal maniac. And I don't expect anyone to understand this. I just want it off my chest.
I feel like God is preparing me though. Like, he is getting me ready for the blow or whatever it might be. I can honestly say that I am ready. I just don't know if I should be. Possibly, what if it was just all in my mind?

The Anatomy of Melancholy: Part 1

So this is my first blog. It's interesting. To think what to talk about........well i have started reading a book that i am pretty sure fell of the face of this earth for years and i just hapen to stumble across it. It's called "The Anatomy of Melancholy" by Robert Burton. This book was written in the fifteen-hundreds(hence the falling of the face of this earth). It is mainly about depression. I would explain it more but as i started reading the book i got stopped about thirteen pages in where i found two pages of a different language. As interested as i was i decided to translate it. And it is pretty hard when you don't know the language. But i did find out that the mysterious language was Latin. But if you are interested in reading about the view of depression from the begining, i advice you to read the book. But if you are one of those persons(yes, that is proper grammer) that doesn't like to read books about knowledge or perhaps just doesn't like to read then are always spark notes. Which really don't give you that full ability of learning everything from the book but a decent amount.
And if you are interested at all but don't have the time to read it, i will probably keep updates about the book.