Through Rae's Eyes

What if.....3/24/09

2009-03-25T18:07:00.000-07:00

What if Kristen Stewart could actually act......
From many of her movies that she starred in turned to crap because of her underacting. From The Safety of Objects by director Rose Troche and writer A. M. Homes to the new film Twilight by director Catherine Hardwicke and writer Melissa Rosenberg.
For those adults out there that don't know about Twilight is the new hit book and movie series that teens are just eating up. From my own opinion, Twilight is a good book for younger people like teens. But for adults, i advise you not to read it. You would be wasting your time. Twilight is poorly written. Teens will disagree but I am pretty sure I know when i read a poorly written novel. But that is just the novel.
The movie would have succeeded to at least a decent movie if Bella (Kristen Stewart) would have actually acted. Ruining many scenes in the movie. Edward (Robert Pattinson), everyone's favorite in the film-----besides his over acting, the intensity in his eyes is what got all these girls giddy over him.
Pattinson and Stewart together is a terrible combination when it comes to acting. With his over acting and her under acting, together they demeaned the movie of it's authenticity. But what really took the intensity away was Belle's crappy acting.
The one scene that really would have got my eye was when Edward blocked the van from hitting Belle. When he went to look down at her, the intensity of his eyes got me hooked to the screen. BUT once it turned to Belle, she looked scared, like she should have. I will give her props for that; it was just that she was not looking at Edward/the camera. SHE WAS LOOKING DOWN! That is when I turned my head from the screen in disgust. If I was Edward, I would have let that car hit her.
So, Catherine Hardwicke and Melissa Rosenberg, if I were you, I would be pissed. From what could have been at least a decent film, it became a load of crap scenes thrown together to a "film".

The Newest Idea

2009-03-22T13:15:00.000-07:00

So, I decided to start a blog called What If....

I am pretty big with the What if's. So I thought "Why not make a blog of it."
So, that is what I am doing. I hope you guys enjoy it =)

give me your thoughts and opinions
and if any good ideas let me know =)

Thanks so much!

-Alyssa

2009-03-07T22:29:00.000-08:00

I despise the human race! I'm allowed to say this. Everyone is allowed to say this. As long as they have their reasons, which there are many. Take your pick. My reasoning is that we create "drama" in our lives for reason to feel sorry for ourselves. This could be as stupid as someone not talking enough to you one day because they are busy. This has been going on for so long, that we don't even realize what we are doing it anymore. Like, it is apart of our natural habitat just as we create with everything else. Lying, cheating, "sinning", abusing in many ways. I could go on forever!
We have created a world full of hatred and evil all due to self wants and "needs" That no one realizes because they are so inflicted with themselves that they can't see this parallel universe that they have created. They see a world full of opportunities for their selfish desires and success. But what is hiding is the god awful truth. Dirty, rotten, tainted with sin and evil that has corrupted our minds to think that sin is what gets us to where we need to go in life. Sin is good! I think I may write a satirical paper on sin. I will put it out if I do come around to it. But my point is that we all live in this parallel universe that is corrupted and has tainted our minds to believe that what is evil is good and what is good now portrays as lies.

How Do You Know You Have Fallen' In Love?

2009-03-02T20:37:00.000-08:00

I could never answer that question because I believe that everyone has a different way to figure it out. But I am going to tell you how I figured it out. It was a rough and windy road, but all of it was worth wild and I would never change a thing. If you want understand that whole part I just stated better, go listen to "Here" by Rascal Flatts. Sums it up perfectly. If you haven't noticed, I get caught up in Rascal Flatts songs a lot. He just knows what songs get people, which I think is great. More people will listen, then they sell more albums and get more money...In the end, that is waht it is all about. Money. Known fact, no one can hide it. People are greedy but that is what created this economy and the jobs that people have now. So greed is not such a terrible thing.
But I am getting way off topic. I could never explain how I figured out I was in love. It is my life story. If you really want to know then you can encourage me to write a novel about it. But just know that I am in love and I have finally figured it out. I am head over heals in love! XD
It is such a great feeling to know. I have something to look forward to every morning I wake up. The reason why I can never have the worst day of my life. The reason why I always randomly smile about nothing, as so everyone seems. I could go on and on about this. So I will stop now.

No Dinner!

2009-02-23T17:33:00.000-08:00

You know how when you get frustrated about many, many things, you tend be on the edge about every little thing that goes on. My family has been in a drought of happiness. We have been at our necks about everything. Well, the past couple weeks my parents have decided to not be parents and not cook dinner. You may think, "Well. make something yourself and give them a break." Well I would, if they would go to the grocery store! They haven't gone in 3 weeks and we are basically out of everything. It is frustrating. So every night lately I will make myself eggs or eat chips. Sometimes nothing at all. Or they get fast food. Then they always talk about how they don't have money for things and they try to pin it on me and my sister. But maybe if we didn't eat fast food every day and just go to the grocery store, which really isn't that hard. We would have more money to do things. Parents are not on my good list right now. They are number one on my bad list. Not going to explain. Just needed to get it out. Thanks.

Choose Your Feelings Wisely

2009-02-10T05:25:00.000-08:00

People think they are programed when they are born to feel a certain way about certain events. But it's not true, so stop believing it. You choose how you feel! Whether it is sad, mad, happy, anxious, scared, whatever! You choose. You all think you are programed for these things but you are not. You are just used to what you feel for every situation. Because that is how you grew up, for example, someone dies, you are sad. Your mind chooses to be sad because that is how you grew up. To feel sad when a person you knew dies. You think, ohh, who wouldn't be sad at a funeral? Well newsflash, it is possible. You are all so use to routine, you just automatically feel sad about someone dying.
Have you ever noticed those people who never get scared, well that is because they choose not to be scared. It is all a state of mind. And you just learn how to control it. Instead of feeling your normal routine feelings. Try to decide your feelings.
And it is funny because I had recently talked abut this in one of my past blogs.

Day of Tears

2009-01-22T20:36:00.000-08:00

Have you ever had one of those days where you just need to cry? You are just so frustrated with everything that is happening in your life, you just don't know what to do but just cry. I hate crying...I don't like to show any emotions except happiness and joy. Not anger or sadness. I don't want to bring other people down. I keep everything to myself for other peoples sake. But there are always those days where you just feel like if you don't let something out, you will burst into a trillion little pieces. And it never helps when you are listening to your playlist and a song comes up like "I'll Stand By You" by Gina Glocksen comes on and just makes everything worse. These are always terrible days in my mind and my entire body just wants to collapse onto the ground and never get up. If I could, I wish I could just drop everything in my life and just leave. At least until I am ready to come back to this mess of what I call a life. But I don't show anyone this. Pretty sure everyone that I have talked to today thinks I am perfectly fine. I will admit, i'm a pretty good actress. But when I am by myself, it just seems like hell. I think that is why I always keep myself busy with things so I never have a moment to think about everything. And I am always around people. So you could think this habbit of mine is unhealthy, and it isn't but it's my life and I have tryed to be more open about showing my emotions and it just never worked out. But today I don't think things could get any worse.And somehow by the end of the day I seem to have made it through without shedding a tear.

The mood is pissed

2009-01-19T17:05:00.000-08:00

So, for those of you that do and don't know. I had been planning to move down to Corpus after I graduated. If you didn't notice the main word in that sentence because you were too shocked of the news that you had just read, well the word was "had" meaning past presence. Before my parents decided that they were going to pay for my college and half of my rent for when I move down there. And so the other day I find my PERFECT apartment! It was love at first sight. Well, when I go to show my mom and discuss things with her cause since I was told that she was going to be paying for half, I figured she should have a say. Well, out of nowhere I am informed that they wouldn't be paying for ANYTHING! Yep, nothing. Not half of the apartment or college. My mind started racing! "What am I suppose to do now?" I kept telling myself....well if I stay here in the great and exciting town Leander, i wouldn't have to pay for anything. They would pay for my college and I would live at home for free. As great as that sounds....it doesn't. Maybe I am overreacting or being a dumb teenager. If so, let me know. But I don't want to live at home. Love my family but I need to express my freedom and grow and mature. How am I suppose to do that if I am allowed to be lazy and not have any responsibilities? But right now I am trying to figure out what to do. If you have any ideas fill free to message me =)

Your Life made by the people

2009-01-14T20:35:00.001-08:00

The things you regret most in your life, you tend to dwell on and the more you dwell on it, the more you allow it to control your life. And if you don't agree with me on this. Just listen to my side and then we can talk later. Well, it affects your mood correct? Well your mood affects you in how you act and the choices you make. Like whether or not you want to hang out with friends because you are too sad to be around anyone. Ha! Just killed two birds with one stone there =)
Peoples moods affect everyone around them. It's insane but it's true. If you are going to go into a room full of people pissed off....well, soon enough everyone else is going to start getting mad about things for no reason.
I believe in one of my earlier blogs, i talked about how our whole lives are based from the decisions we make and that everything we do is a decision. Where to go, what to eat or drink, how to act, how to feel. Well, i realize how in this blog i was contradicting myself and proving that my entire theory is wrong. Well I'm not, as crazy as that sounds. It may feel like you can't control what you think about but you can. It is all a state-of-mind. The way you think is by other people influencing your mind and it effects how you think and how you act and whatnot also. But it's also a decision to allow them to mold your mind that way. You can just be like, "Pshh, they are dumb. I'm not gonna listen to them." But what is funny about the human race is, we don't like to think for ourselves. We like to believe other peoples opinions and shape basically the rest of our lives.
Which now brings me back to my blog about trusting everything. You are basically trusting and allowing people to shape your life. Think about it for awhile....

2008-12-27T22:12:00.001-08:00

So in one of my earlier post, i had talked about realizations. I have come to a conclusion that we all have many realizations in our lives. They are not always right, but they are not always wrong. But I have noticed that even though we have realizations with false information in it, we tend to believe it and trust that it is true. All humans base most of their facts from trust. Let's say you meet a guy and he says his name is Bob. You trust that he is telling the truth and you believe him. For a bigger example, God. You can prove whether or not he is real. You just believe, you trust that he is real. That he created this universe. Every religion is based on trust. You trust to believe it's true.
So coming to my third conclusion, all of the people out there that says you have trust issues....you don't. People automatically believe someones name is Bob when they tell them. You trust yourself when you pick up a plate to carry it somewhere.
Your life is based off of trust and decisions. You decide everything in your life. And it is all based from what you believe. What you trust.

Assuming

2008-12-22T17:41:00.000-08:00

There are not a lot of things that get me mad. But one that you will read about now is assuming. I hate that people assume things about you. It destroys things. Like thoughts, relationships, ideas. A lot of things. It just bugs me that people assume that I can be a douche and just do things with out felling bad. Like I am some kind of emotionless witch! It doesn't make sense to me. Maybe someone can explain it to me, because obviously I don't get it.

The Things That Get To You

2008-12-22T17:23:00.000-08:00

You know how you are going through something in your life and there is always a song that relates to your situation. You tend to stick with that song the entire time you are going through this "situation". The reason why I am bringing this up because today I realized that I have been stuck on the same song for quite a while now. But now I have another song that totally throws off my entire concept of everything I had just told you! When you listen to a song, you usually pick up the emotion that it is giving out. Suppose it is a happy song, you will be happy. Sad song, you are sad. Get the concept? Not that hard to pick up. But what happens the day you listen to a happy song and you are sad? Not a crying sad but a depressed sad, like guilt. The meaning of the entire song is thrown out the window. What do you do then? Just sit there in a confused state-of-mind. Wondering about what had just happened.

Worst Realization of my Life

2008-12-18T21:07:00.000-08:00

So ever since i worte my last blog, i just couldn't stop thinking about it. Well tonight as i was laying in my bed listening to "Angels on the Moon" by Thriving Ivory (good song by the way) Well i realized that I am a suicidal maniac. I realized that deep down I am terrified of my future. So scared i don't want to live it. I really don't want to live through the rest of my life. My life is truely great but....i think i have some kind of mental problem. I;m not sure. Deep down I want some reason to get off of this earth. Earlier when I called myself a "suiciddal maniac" I really didn;t mean that, cause I really don't want to kill myself. I just want a reason to leave like cancer or something. Maybe I could be saving someone's life. Just I am going to change that though cause i'm pretty sure that right now I sound crazy and I will not be surprised if people come to my house tomorrow and wrap me up into this white coat and strap my arms down. (Please don't though)

Shorter Days

2008-12-16T19:21:00.000-08:00

Everyone lives on this earth to serve a purpose. That is what I believe. God has a plan for everyone. But i guess my question is...Have you ever felt like you knew what was going to happen? I can't really explain it except for my experience. And i will probably sound crazy but bare with me, please.
I feel like, like I don't have a long journey ahead of me. I mean this in the best way but i always have had this feeling that God's plan for my life will be exciting and know I am going to touch people in so many different ways but I just have this strong feeling that it is all going to happen soon and then I am going to be done. I will have no more purpose on this earth and well you know.....
I am okay with leaving early in my life but I just want to know, you know? I can never say I believe this deep strong feeling because I am so scared that i am battling with myself, with my mind. I am scared that I might have manipulated my mind to believe something that maybe deep down I wish is true. I am not trying to say that I am a depressed suicidal maniac. And I don't expect anyone to understand this. I just want it off my chest.
I feel like God is preparing me though. Like, he is getting me ready for the blow or whatever it might be. I can honestly say that I am ready. I just don't know if I should be. Possibly, what if it was just all in my mind?

The Anatomy of Melancholy: Part 1

2008-12-13T20:39:00.000-08:00

So this is my first blog. It's interesting. To think what to talk about........well i have started reading a book that i am pretty sure fell of the face of this earth for years and i just hapen to stumble across it. It's called "The Anatomy of Melancholy" by Robert Burton. This book was written in the fifteen-hundreds(hence the falling of the face of this earth). It is mainly about depression. I would explain it more but as i started reading the book i got stopped about thirteen pages in where i found two pages of a different language. As interested as i was i decided to translate it. And it is pretty hard when you don't know the language. But i did find out that the mysterious language was Latin. But if you are interested in reading about the view of depression from the begining, i advice you to read the book. But if you are one of those persons(yes, that is proper grammer) that doesn't like to read books about knowledge or perhaps just doesn't like to read then are always spark notes. Which really don't give you that full ability of learning everything from the book but a decent amount.
And if you are interested at all but don't have the time to read it, i will probably keep updates about the book.